I found this list hanging on the wall at a friend's cube at work, and thought it was too funny to pass up.
Top 11 Worst Resumes
- Lead programmer of the SQL Slammer worm
- As data analyst for the Dept. of Veterans Affairs, I often took work home
- Spearheaded the 2005 deployment of my company's Token Ring network
- Saved thousands of dollars in electricity by turning off the AC in the server room every night
- Certified in OS/2 Server support and Apple Newton repair
- Initiated personal project to find holes in corporate Web porn filter
- Designed a document management system when working for Arthur Andersen on Enron audit
- Successfully transferred $3.2 million in corporate funds to wife of former Nigerian oil minister
- Improved MP3 download speeds by switching from Kazaa to BitTorrent
- Set company record for most HIPAA compliance violations
- Assisted NSA agents with installation of network taps at AT&T
Originally from: http://www.networkcomputing.com/showitem.jhtml?articleID=189602342
If you click through to the link above, the next article about calling Mom is funny.